


Filly

by foreveryours_mouse



Series: If You Love Me For Me [1]
Category: Bonanza
Genre: F/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Self Ship, Self-Insert, self shipping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-14 16:26:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29545116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foreveryours_mouse/pseuds/foreveryours_mouse
Summary: Mouse is the Ponderosa's latest refugee, a proper lady with no memories prior to a carriage accident and a fear of horses following it. As her rescuer, Hoss feels a personal responsibility to help her recover, by introducing her to his filly Chub. Instead, she learns to look beyond appearances, while he receives a bit of needed comfort of his own.
Relationships: Hoss Cartwright/Original Character(s)
Series: If You Love Me For Me [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2170662
Kudos: 2





	Filly

At six foot four, Hoss stood as tall as a horse. And horses were exactly what Mouse seemed to fear most.

Far out on Cartwright land, he had found the lady alone, sprawled in the dirt, and nearly unconscious, with hoof-prints stamped all around her. The battered carriage, caught on the rocks about a mile up that same hill, had been his only clue as to what had been her fate. She would not tell them what she had endured. She could not remember.

It had become his most ardent wish to help her in any manner possible. He couldn’t stand to see anything suffer, let alone a beautiful creature such as she. The only thing standing between him and fulfilling that wish seemed to be himself. Mouse had barely allowed him even to carry her back to the cabin that day. Thus far, bringing her to the refuge of the Ponderosa had been the most within his power. She cowered from him each time he approached her.

The most conversation she ever made was directed at Ben, as if she drew some comfort from his paternal presence. Yet, even Hoss’s father could not persuade her to come to Virginia City for further help. Doing so would require mounting a horse. The surrounding land was too vast and, on many occasions, too treacherous to traverse by foot.

Hoss lay awake last night, hearing quiet sobs from the room across the hallway. In that moment, he made up his mind that she would not go another night crying herself to sleep.

Mouse simply needed something to put her at ease, something that would make her more comfortable during her stay. It only stood to reason that a proper lady wouldn’t be at home on a ranch among four tough and unfamiliar men. So, gathering the other three with him, this man began to put his plan into motion, as early as first thing that morning.

Everyone dressed in their best apparel. Breakfast, courtesy of Hop Sing, and the table set just so, with all participants seated according to fine etiquette. A poetry reading, courtesy of Adam, in tender voice and articulate English. Fencing practice, courtesy of Little Joe, with finesse and good sportsmanship. Afternoon tea served fresh and prompt, with latest news straight from town, courtesy of Ben. And finally, a peaceful ride through the countryside in the cool of the day... courtesy of none other than Hoss himself. Furthermore, sometime during or after the ride, he would present her a gift to end the evening most pleasantly-- a lovely dress made of light-blue velvet and lined with lace. He had hurriedly rode out and made this purchase in the wee hours of the morning before she awoke.

It all had seemed to be going so well, until the time came for the evening ride.

Though all else had been a smooth process, Hoss could never have planned for such an eventuality as Chub taking a lame foot. His filly was the most docile equine in the yard, but the more he encouraged her to walk, the more stubborn she became. The idea was to have introduced the two gently and amicably. But Chub snorted and bobbed her head and pawed her one good front leg, and Hoss noticed Mouse by the barn entrance taking a wary step back.

Chub was certainly in no condition to be coerced into a ride, much less carrying Mouse’s unfamiliar weight. And this was certainly not the day to convince Mouse she had no reason to be afraid of a horse.

“What is wrong with that creature?” Mouse huffed softly, face halfway hidden behind the door for protection.

“She’s just not feelin’ too sprightly today,” Hoss explained, trying to keep his tone gentle for the sake of both females. “Her left front leg is lame. I don’t reckon we need to be draggin’ her out and makin’ her walk across all them hills. We’ll take another horse, but first I’m gonna take a look at what’s goin’ on. Hopefully it’s nothin’ too serious.”

“Well... I’ve never seen such a disobedient horse.” Mouse stated, as if in compensation to a need of self-defense. Her eyes remained fixed on the painted wood, but were slowly being overshadowed by furrowed eyebrows. “Utterly refusing to walk. As if in blatant insubordination...”

Hoss couldn’t help but a raise of an eyebrow of his own in her direction, while he coaxed Chub to lift her lame leg for his inspection. “Naw, animals ain’t like that. They ain’t got a natural meanness, like people do.”

“Ah,  _ people _ have natural meanness...!” She exclaimed softly, taking an unsuspected brazen step forward. “All it takes is the slightest thing to set a horse off. Why, just look at what became of me and my carriage... do you suppose it was something  _ I  _ did to cause those horses to break free of their reins and then trample me nearly to death?”

“Well, I can’t rightly claim to know  _ what _ caused them horses to get spooked like that...” He admitted slowly, remaining as tender as possible with the hoof while Chub nickered in protest. “But I do know animals have a kinda natural way of sensing what people are feelin’.”

“Hm, as I suspected.” Mouse sighed, crossing her arms. “So this is why you all have been going out of your way for me. You believe the carriage accident was my own misdoing. I am nothing more than a hysterical woman to be appeased and shortly sent off to an institution.”

Hoss paused, looking up from the hoof towards her shockedly. “Well... of course not, Miss Mouse! Ain’t none of us ever thought that-? Why, who told you that?”

“Oh, none of you have to tell me anything. I can see it in the way you have kowtowed to me all afternoon. If you do not do it because you think I am mad, then I do not know what you wish from me. But I assure you my favor shall not be so easily won.”

“Miss Mouse... what are you talking about?”

Mouse took another step closer, firmly meeting his eyes in preparation to proceed with the outburst. The abrupt movement caused the already-anxious Chub to rear back in defense with a whinny. Mouse shrieked and stumbled backwards, the hem of her dress catching under her heel. She toppled on her backside, right into a pile of hay. Hoss’s priority was to steady Chub and prevent the filly from hurting herself further. Before he could turn to her and inquire as to Mouse’s condition, the lady burst from the hay and onto her toes, which she stood impertinently upon to seethe at him.

“How... how dare you! You brought me to this wretched place, and you keep me here... only to terrify me all the more!?  _ You big brute _ !!”

Mouse stormed out of the barn, dove into the refuge of the cabin, and locked herself in her room for the rest of the night.

When Hoss lay awake this time, the only thing he could hear were those same three words. Over and over. Through the darkness of the night. Echoing in his mind. Chipping away at his heart each time. And feel the stab of realization. There was no way for Mouse to recover so long as she had to remain in the same house with this brute.

“Son... are you sure? I’m sure this can be sorted out. You must go and talk with her.” Ben reasoned with him at the following breakfast.

“What’s there to talk about? This is  _ your _ house. If she doesn’t like it, she ain’t gotta stay.” Little Joe interrupted, looking from Hoss to Adam for reinforcement. “Why should  _ Hoss _ be the one to leave?”

“Naw... it’s okay.” The middle son was looking down at his plate. Hop Sing had already voiced vehement disapproval to Hoss for hardly touching the food there. “The lady ain’t got nowhere else to go. Not ‘til she gets better, anyhow... so I reckon it’s best for me to just go on.” He glanced back up to Ben. “Pa, ain’t you got some business to tend to over in Reno? I can go there. Take care of it for ya while I’m gone.”

“Well... yes, son. I planned to travel there in the next few days. I... suppose it wouldn’t hurt to have it finished and out of the way ahead of time.”

Mouse wasn’t at breakfast. She hadn’t been seen out of her room once since the incident in the barn. Hoss had initially hoped to at least be able to say good-bye to her before he left out that afternoon. No, remember? Things never go according to his plans.

Ben had ridden to Virginia City, and Adam and Joe were already out at work tending to cattle. The brothers and their father already said their short farewells after finishing breakfast. Hoss was up in his room, packing the last few necessities in his carpet bag. He made his way down the stairs, headed for his hat still perching on the coat-rack behind the door.

“Oh, Hoss.”

Mouse was to his left several feet away from the bottom of the staircase, seated by the piano in that corner. He stopped right in his tracks, one foot still atop on the bottom step, once he saw what she was wearing.

The pale-blue dress he’d meant as her gift last night...

She blinked at him, with a gloved hand outstretched in his direction and a concerned expression on her face. Quickly, she straightened her posture and averted her gaze. A wild strand of light-brown hair fell over her eyes, but she huffed and composedly pushed it back into place. “I... have heard you are leaving.”

“Oh...” Hoss sent an awkward glance down at the bag in his hand, then took a step closer. “Yes’m. I apologize, I fully intended to say good-bye to you before I headed out.” Only one step. More like a half-step. He was all the more aware of how much he intimidated her. “I’m... glad I was able to see you before I did.”

“Yes. Well... I implore you not to.” Mouse paused, realizing how that must have sounded. “That is, not just yet. Ah-- that is  _ to say _ , I... wish to speak with you before you must be off.” She kept her eyes turned the other way, her words halted and uncertain, and he could only guess how much he must be frightening her right now.

Then, she sighed, and patted the empty place on the bench beside her.

“Please. Sit with me and hear what I must say.”

Tentatively, very tentatively, he moved closer and placed himself at her side. His heart beat faster at this proximity, both in awe that she would allow him so close to her and in gratitude for this second chance. He shifted nervously, knowing how obvious it was that he took up most of the space on the bench. Rather than scooting as far to the edge as possible, Mouse angled her body more in his direction. Now she was facing him, but still her eyes remained fixed on the pine panels of the floor.

“I must apologize... for my behavior. For yesterday... and... for every day before the present moment.”

“Oh... Miss Mouse--”

“No, please.” She lifted a hand to stop him. “Allow me to finish... Let me say all that must be said, and then I will say no more.”

He acquiesced, and there was a few moments’ silence.

“Your brother Adam... paid a visit to me earlier this afternoon. He informed me that you have decided to go away to another town. That... this dress was meant as a gift from you.”

She folded both hands in her lap now, smoothing the material over vaguely trembling knees. Hoss frowned a little to himself, unhappy with his older brother for sharing personal thoughts. Usually Adam preferred to stay out of others’ affairs.

“He had not much more than that to say. However, it was enough to bring me to my senses. My performance last night was very badly done. To speak nothing of the fact that it is completely unfair to you and your family. You have taken me in, when I had nowhere and no one else to run to... and still I accused you of saying things about me, things that I know I have never heard you say. Worst of all, on the day you meant to do everything in your power to show me I can be comfortable among you. Lovely breakfast... wonderful entertainment... and tea? High tea, at the most proper time of the afternoon? It all was far more lovely than I’ve deserved...”

“No. No, ma’am.” Hoss interjected softly. Even in spite of his own desolation, he could not allow Mouse to speak that way of herself. “You  _ do  _ deserve.  _ You’re  _ lovely.” He blushed immediately, breaking off that sentence and mentally scrambling for a way to recuperate. “I just... hate that the evening ride was spoiled.”

“Ah, the ride...” She shook her head slightly. “There.” Her eyes finally fell upon him, such regret in the pair. “ _ There _ is where I failed most miserably of all. How unfair was I to accuse your horse of being dramatic? She was truly injured. It was  _ I _ who was the one being dramatic.”

“Naw... no. Now, Miss Mouse.” He almost reached to take her hand in reassurance, but couldn’t commit to the completion of the motion. “You been through a lot as well. A lot more than just your joints hurtin’ you, that’s for sure... so I can’t hardly blame you for being a lil’ high-strung.-- Oh, I’m sorry.” He winced at his choice of words.

“Don’t apologize. You are right.” Mouse chuckled. “’High-strung’ is a very apt description... still, there is no excuse for such childish behavior as mine. Therefore... I offer you my own apology. Most humbly do I ask for your forgiveness... Hoss.”

She moved her hand forward, meeting his hand where it hesitated halfway. The two touched tenderly.

Hoss felt a bashful grin spread across his face. He blushed again and rubbed his neck with the other hand. “Aw... well, I... of course I accept... heh. But... I’m still sorry I couldn’t take you out on that ride.”

“I should have understood. I do now. And I assure you an outburst will not happen again.” Mouse gratefully seemed to give his hand the slightest squeeze, before releasing it and returning it to her lap folded along with the other. “Pray... tell me how your horse is doing...? I do hope the injury was not too severe...”

“Naw. She’s doing much better now. Like I say, I reckon her old joints were just botherin’ her. I’ve probably been wearing her out too much here lately. She just needs a rest and she’ll be healed up, right as rain. Yep, good ol’ girl. I reckon she’ll have to wait here for me ‘til I get back... I’ll have to take another horse.”

A long pause.

“... are you truly leaving?”

“Looks that way...” Hoss sighed softly. “Pa’s got some business out in Reno, and I’m gonna go get it out of the way.”

“... may I convince you to remain a while longer?” She ventured once more, after another pause. “I have seen that I have put you out enough already... but, forgive a spoiled girl, and do me one more honor.”

He blinked, tilting his head. “... yes’m?”

“Please introduce me to your dear girl. Your filly. What is her name...?”

“Oh. Why... it’s Chub.”

“Chub.” Mouse repeated, tilting her head as if it was an unexpected name, but not one she disapproved. “Well... I like that name.”

“She’d like  _ you _ ... I know she would, if she got the chance to meet ya. She was just feelin’ poorly last night, but she’s just about the sweetest dang critter you’ll ever meet.” Hoss leaned forward in his seat, balancing on the balls of his feet, eager to go and introduce the two females he cared most about.

Mouse giggled softly at his newest choice of words. “Well... I believe I owe her an apology as well...” She then drew a breath, as if growing anxious just with the thought of being too near to a horse. “So... please. Take me to her?”


End file.
